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On To Townsville...
December 21, 2001
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Bet you didn't expect an update for today, did you? Well, what can I say...I live to surprise. Or something. But yeah.
I just spanked my last final until it begged for mercy, and then I - as my friend Tom put it - "made it do the dishes." Which doesn't make a ton of sense, but I like it, so I say it. Yeah. So my tests are over, and things are done, except for...wait. Practically nothing is done, I've still got to pack all my shit for my flight tomorrow (i.e. today), defrost my dammed mini-fridge (currently it holds, in addition to things like my pop and water, things like soy milk and pickled bell peppers. Don't even ASK what else my roommates eat), and do a whole host of other things that would be too boring and obnoxious to list. Oh, except for this little note:
Dear Travelocity,
Fuck you.
Because you neglected to tell my dad who ordered my airline tickets that Sun Country, the company I was flying with, had gone out of god-dammed BUSINESS, I nearly got left here in Minnesota, unable to spend Christmas with my family. Plus we had to spend a whopping FIVE-HUNDRED DOLLARS for a ONE-WAY ticket on another airline. Thanks a whole fucking lot, you sons of bitches. I hope rabid midgets set your house on fire, and put frenzied wolverines in your underpants when you run out screaming.
Oh, and one more thing:
FUCK YOU.
Thanks again,
Blue.
P.S.: Dear Sun Country Airlines,
Fuck you too.
Sorry about all that profanity, it's not really in the holiday spirit, but I feel entitled to rant, if only for my own sake and not even that of my family, who had to literally pay an EXTRA five hondo to get me home. That's neither fair nor cool, and I give this to you as a warning, to take how you may. Damn you Travelocity. I will run you into the ground like I do my opponents in Sambadeamigo, the maraca game of madness (except for Tommy, who routinely kicks my ass. But we'll not speak of that now).
Well, this is going to be my last update in Minnesota until around about February, and if I get to take my computer home as I planned, you will not be lacking in any sort of Blue-produced (comik) strippage for all of the holidays and January too. If something comes up, rest assured Josiah or one of my friends will be there to fill in, but yeah - we'll just even see if that needs to happen. In the meantime...I may have mentioned that Tuesday's post will probably come early, maybe even late, but I'll do my best to make it up to you, honest. We don't say something like "Updated Tuesdays and Fridays without fail" without knowing what it entails, HELLZ no.
Ow. I haven't said it before, but I'm in enough pain to mention it now. A word of wisdom to all of you out there in Readerland: no matter how comical it may seem to others, make sure there is a chair directly BENEATH you before you attempt to SIT DOWN, else painful injury will result. I just found that out myself, and trust me, it is not an experience that I take lightly. Especially the ass part of me.
I just got a "W00T bear" that my dear friend Doc gave to me for Christmas, and man is that little bugger cute. Just a little reminder that after January 1, if you attempt to order one of those things and CAN'T because they're GONE, don't come crying to me. Your L33Tness is your own responsibility.
Sorry Doc. I won't mention that whole "merchandise" thingy again, honest. ::wink::
Well, I hope you're all having a happy-fun holiday, whatever your choice of faith or lack thereof or whatever: just hope you're all doing well. I'll be in Arizona enjoying the family, friends, food, and heat. Yay. And rest assured, I'll keep you all updated about everything. Be well everyone.
Peace.
Annie "Blue" VanderMeer
And it's not very fun
If you fall down and hurt your bum
I like to put my bum on things
It's fun for everyone
- Tom Green
"The Bum-Bum Song (Lonely Swedish)
in honor of my little "ass-cident", hee-hee.
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