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And They'd Be All Like "Ciao"
May 2, 2006
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Yes, before you ask, this is indeed supposed to be silly. I was going to originally make some kind of point on how blood elves are kind of wussy, but really, I'll save my ire for night elves (and HOW! You know on my server there are more night elf characters than there are for the entire Horde? I could kill you long-eyebrowed sons-of-bitches for hours. No disrespec'). I just think - really, while I understand the lore of blood elves and respect their place in the story of World of Warcraft as a whole, I'm not enthusiastic about them as playable characters. I mean - they're slightly more angular night elves with a palette swap and rotated-upwards ears (how your ears rotate upwards and your hair bleaches blond if you get addicted to magic and spend all your time out in the sun, I will never know). I can hear the fast clacking - even now - of uncreative mouth-breathers typing out every possible permutation of "Legolas" in preparation for the expansion launch day, so that they are not the one left out in the cold wilderness of attempting to come up with an ORIGINAL NAME.
Wow, I'm sure full of ire today. Anyhow. Just picture a blood elf riding their "mount of choice" around with a grim I - will - do - what - I - must - to - survive - and - feed - my - raging - magic - addiction expression affixed on their face, and I hope it makes you giggle at least a little. Or chuckle. Or hey, even guffaw, although some may argue that is taking it too far. And, I should mention, I somewhat modeled the salesman after the fellow in this Penny Arcade strip, just because marketing guys as a whole have struck me as shysters on the level of bad car salesmen. Or something. I dont trust you bitches, by and large, is what I have to say, mostly because my industry does not employ very creative members of your profession, and the reptile brains of those bastards are the ones largely insisting that every game needs to have a huge pair of tits on the cover or that shit won't sell. Marketing people wield great power, and they can use their powers for good or for evil, this I know. And shitbiscuits, what I'm saying is that there are a LOT more Sith out there than Jedi, you know what I'm sayin'? Because you should. In theory.
Wow. Holy shit. E3 is next WEEK. Cue blind animal panic, and more keening for aid and guest strips, on a frequency that ideally more than just dogs can hear. In simple terms, help need strips THE END IS NIGH. Meep.
That's it for me, kids - see you all on Friday, when you may return and partake of similarly unsophisticated plebian humor such as you find here. But we're friendly and the food is cheap and good, and we're always glad to have you back. Be well.
Like Unto a Chicken Sans Head,
Annie "Blue" C
My own double feature
- The White Stripes
"White Moon"
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